Perfect Timing

This next story happened 3 times already so hopefully someone can learn from my mistakes.  Baby Carter has quickly evolved into an assembly line of dirty diapers.  If I could only find a way to harvest his dirty diapers into something more useful than a "Sh!& snake" (from Diaper Genie and I highly recommend this as a must purchase for any new dad) I would be inclined to fight for a spot on the show "Shark Tank".  Nevertheless, no bankers or investors are lining up to invest in "Carter Dirt" so his impressive diaper art will go to waste for now.  I digress...back to the story at hand.

So the past few days, I have been doing everything I can to calm my OCD (just short of carrying Carter in one arm and a Dustbuster in another) and thought a set process would help Baby Carter and me adapt to the new lifestyle.  The typical schedule I attempted to follow included changing his diaper immediately after every time he woke up from a nap.  The post nap changes went without issue but not 2 minutes later, while holding him in my arm, (with my hand near his bottom area) the bomb went off.  Carter would fuss a little and then the calm before the storm.  A category 2 earthquake would shake my hand from his bottom area.  You have to be kidding me!  Not two minutes after changing him, he would thank me by creating dirty art work followed by a huge smile of gratification.

Lesson Learned:  Let baby awaken for a few minutes before rushing to change his post nap diaper because he may have more baby paint to throw on his art canvas.

"I Told You So!"

"I told you so!" is a new section dedicated to fatherly lessons learned the hard way.  Every time I disregard parental recommendations from my dad, in-laws, family, friends, etc. that end up just as they predicted, I will post them here.

I Told You So #1:  

Scenario:  It was about 3:00am and baby Carter was fussing.  I carried him over to the changing table and unsnapped his onesie to expose his dirty diaper.  I opened his diaper and witnessed a mess that a CSI tech would need to seek counseling for.  I proceeded to wipe him clean with the cold baby wipe and before I could finish, I felt a warm fluid hit on my hand and run down part of my arm.  He was urinating all over me!  I attempted to grab the new diaper from one of the baskets underneath the changing table, but it was too late.  The warm flow of urine was accompanied by more crime scene fecal matter.  Awesome.  I protected what I could with the dirty wipe in my right hand and waited for the horrific event to conclude.  Once Carter completed his mission to initiate dad, he looked up at me and had the biggest smile I've seen thus far.  The little monster knew what we was doing!  He said "I Told You So!"

Recommendation:  Make sure you do not remove the dirty diaper until you have already have a clean diaper underneath the dirty diaper.  This way you can wipe the baby clean and quickly "switch" the diapers while preventing him from initiating you college fraternity style.